🌻 When the Day Falls Apart: Meltdowns, ADHD, and Real SEND Parenting 🌻

So… the plan today was simple. Sit down, drink a coffee, and actually get some Sunflower SEND Hub admin work done. Maybe write a cute blog about sunflowers. Maybe feel like I’m finally on top of life for five minutes.

Well. That didn’t happen.

The phone rang. And if you’re a SEND parent, you know that feeling. The one where your stomach just drops.

It was Olivia’s school.

They told me she’d cried most of the way on the bus — completely out of character. This child loves the bus. It’s her routine, her happy place. But today she arrived already sad. And it didn’t stop.

They said, “This isn’t the usual Olivia we know.”

We waited.

They tried Calpol.

Nothing changed.

So off I went to collect her — which may I add is at least a 45-minute journey, and that’s on a good day. Today? Traffic. Of course there was traffic. Because when you’re already stressed, life always finds a way to add a little more.

By the time I got to school, I could hear her crying before I even saw her. When she finally spotted me, she turned and ran back inside. That crushed me. It’s like she wanted comfort, but didn’t know how to accept it. That kind of heartbreak hits different.

The drive home was… honestly? Hell. She kicked. She screamed. She unclicked her seatbelt over and over. She cried so hard so it physically hurts to hear.

And this is where people who don’t live this life get it wrong.

This isn’t “tantrums. ”This is meltdown — pure overwhelm, fear, distress she can’t explain and can’t escape.

And if anyone questions your parenting…If someone calls it “naughty” or a “tantrum”…If someone isn’t educated enough to understand the difference between a meltdown and a tantrum…

You do not need that negativity in your life.

Not today.

Not ever.

SEND parents already carry enough.

We don’t need judgement on top of heartbreak.

One of the best things I’ve learned over the last few years is this: I genuinely don’t care what people think or say about my child’s meltdowns anymore. I choose my battles — and trust me, we already have enough. Fighting judgemental people isn’t one I’m willing to waste my energy on.

When we finally got home, it continued until her daddy walked through the door. She’s always been a Daddy’s Girl, and thank god for that, because she finally settled enough for me to check her ears, throat, etc … anything to make sense of what she can’t tell me.

And that’s the part that breaks you as a SEND parent. The not knowing. The guessing. The quiet panic. The feeling of helplessness because your child is hurting and you don’t know why.

So why am I writing this?

Because THIS is why Sunflower SEND Hub exists. Because we get it. We don’t just “support SEND families. ”We are SEND families. We live the meltdowns, the school calls, the cancelled shifts, the guilt, the ADHD brain fog, the moments where motivation dies in an instant because crisis takes over.

I’ve cancelled my nursing shift tomorrow because I genuinely don’t know if she’ll manage school. And right now? She’s chilling with her daddy while I try to pick up the pieces of my day… catch up on that admin, but the truth is, my head’s just not in it anymore.

That’s SEND parenting.

It’s brutal.

It’s beautiful.

It’s relentless.

Its the most rewarding.

It’s love in its rawest form.

And if you’re reading this and thinking, “This is my life too,” then please know:

You’re not alone.

🌻 Together we grow, together we shine — even on the days that feel like they’re falling apart.

Never change my girl x